Finding Your Ebb
In our last post we explored finding your Flow. Our Flow is the purposeful action of our lives, which is optimized if we also find our Ebb. One of the definitions the dictionary gives us for Ebb is to flow back or away, as the water of a tide. In other words to recede, ease, abate or subside. Why is Ebb so important? Because a perpetual state of busyness without frequent and regular rest is a recipe for burnout. Sound familiar?
This is also made clear when we look at the antonyms of Ebb. Accumulate. Escalate. Intensify. Mushroom. Snowball. Swell. How often are these words more appropriate definitions of our schedules, our envirnonments, our relationships, and our very minds?
I know for me, overwhelm was a very familiar feeling I lived with for many years. I was running around doing all the things I thought I was supposed to do. All the things that would make me “happy and fulfilled.” All I felt was run down and tired. And I quickly got tired of being tired.
Then I saw this quote on Pinterest:
“When life isn’t adding up, start subtracting.”
Wait, what? Our society says more is better, so why would I stop doing anything? If anything, I should be doing more. Right? But in the depths of my weary bones and my very soul, I knew society is wrong.
So I gave myself permission to stop. Completely stop. Stop being productive. Stop being efficient. Stop being ON. And let me tell you, the guilt initially was intense.
How can I possibly allow myself to take a leisurely walk, simply for the joy of being outside, in the sun, and basking in God’s creation? I really should be running instead, so I can burn more calories and lose these extra pounds.
What about the dishes? The kitchen is always a mess and I really need to stay on top of it. What if a neighbor stops by and sees my house like this?
What about that work project? I didn’t meet my goal last month, so I need to double my efforts this month to make up for it.
What about running the kids to their activities? Tonight is soccer, piano, and gymnastics. Tell me again, how am I to be in three places at once?
Yes, the nagging thoughts, the anxieties were ever present.
But I started subtracting anyway. I finally allowed myself some silence, stillness, and space. In this quiet place, I was better able to take a realistic inventory of my time and energy. (For me, this took place mostly in prayer and conversation with the Lord.) I made a list of all the things that I did each day, even the smallest tasks. It was only then that I could actually see how busy I was and why I was so tired all the time.
Going forward, I made a promise to myself to account for all the menial tasks of my day, such as doing the laundry and sorting the mail. I also acknowledged while these tasks are not difficult, they still require my focus and energy. I needed to remember these daily requirements before I started adding any other engagements or activities on top of them.
So my challenge to you is to take a day this week and write down everything you do, even the smallest things. Include brushing your teeth, making breakfast, packing lunches, driving to work, stopping at the grocery store, walking the dog. Don’t leave anything out. Then stand back and look where you are spending your time.
What surprises you?
What pleases you?
What would you change?
Were there things you wanted to do, but didn’t get to? Why?
How did you feel at the end of the day?
If you would like to share your experience, I would love to hear from you!
